"Dead" is dead

When I started this blog it was intended to provide short solutions to short and common Magento problems.
But then I slowly moved this activity to the Magento StackExchange website.
Since then, this has been left for DEAD. But I'm using it right now for my occasional rant because that's what blogs are about. People sharing their ideas & opinions (most of them wrong). I'm doing the same for the fear of missing out.
So here is my occasional rant.
Today is about ".... is dead".

I've been seeing a lot of blog posts that come in via e-mail or twitter (good thing I don't have a Facebook account) about "'bla bla, something something' is dead".
I'm going to list here only a few that are related to my everyday work, because I cannot express an opinion worth reading about thinks I don't know. (Apparently others can).
So here are the nominees:

• PHP is dead.
• Magento is dead.
• Scrum is dead.
• JS is dying. (notice, not dead yet)

Hold on there mister coroner.
Did you find someone lying down? Check the vitals first. Maybe that person is not dead. Maybe is just resting. Maybe he just fell down.
Look around you, maybe you are at the beach and the person lying down is enjoying the sand.
Do you have a relative that is an undertaker and is going to make money from all the things you declared dead?

I went home one day after reading a few of the "is dead" stories and told my wife that apparently I'm working with some dead technologies. Her answer: "But you're still getting paid, right?". Me:"Yes". Her: "Cool! At least like that you don't run the risk of killing something.".

So in conclusion, I'm declaring that "DEAD" is dead.
Every blog post I see from now on that ends with "...is dead", is dead to me (except this one). Stop declaring things dead if you don't feel a pulse in the nail of the small left toe. Disclaimer: I know I'm declaring something dead even if I say not to declare things dead.